Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Nice Guys vs. Weak Guys

He calls you when he says he will. He listens when you need to talk. He comes with you to meet your parents. He goes out with you and your friends. He's nice to you, even when you don't deserve it. He's one of them, one of the nice guys, and that scares you.
You always imagined yourself with a macho man. A tough guy who would hold you tight in one arm while fighting off the world with the other. He wouldn't take any shit from you or any one. We all fantasize about this strong burly man, but at the end of the day who really wants to spend their life with someone who thinks with his fists rather than his heart?
Many of us have a problem; we equate kindness with weakness, but we're wrong to do so. In my experience nice guys are actually the strongest ones out there. They are the ones who have the strength of their convictions, the ones who know which battles are worth fighting, and which ones aren't. We grow up believing that men who don't consistently stand up for themselves are weak, but it's just not true. A man who has a few deep seated convictions and will do anything to defend and uphold them is much stronger than a man who sees any confrontation as a good excuse for a fight. The fighter isn't really defending you, he's just showing off some muscle. Like a big dog with a loud bark the show has no value.
Your nice guy doesn't like to ruffle feathers. He'd rather back down in the face of a confrontation, using kindness and jokes to diffuse the situation. You think that shows a lack of backbone, but think about it, is he really accomplishing less than the toughie? And when things don't go his way, is he going to pout and stew all night, or is he going to get over it and find a different way to deal with the situation? Right, he'll get over it, and most of the time the solution will be just as good. Have you ever seen a nice guy get really mad about something? People stop and listen, if it's worthwhile enough for him to get worked up about, it's probably time to pay attention. Nice guys aren't full of hot air, nor are they deflated balloons, they just know to save their energy for times when it's really needed.
Not leaving a wake of pissed off customer service people behind you is just one benefit of dating, or even marrying, a nice guy. Nice guys know how to treat a girl well. They know when to shut up and hold you while you cry. They know when you want to just cuddle. And they have no problem just relaxing and being with you without having to be all macho about it.
Help me spread the word; not only are nice guys not weak guys, but they are the greatest catch of all.

14 comments:

  1. That's true, nice guys are, well, nice... but how do you tell if a nice guy is weak or tough underneath?

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  2. And sometimes the nice guys only appear to be nice guys, but really they are emotionally abusive, manipulative jerks!

    That said, I totally agree. I definitely agree and want a nice guy!

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  3. Never forget that nice and tough aren't antithetical.

    Most of the guys I know are nice guys (I don't associate with guys who attempt to think with their fists) but most of the nice guys that I know could easily hospitalize any would-be tough guy around.

    Just a thought.

    GF

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  4. If you really want to know what kind of guy he is, pay attention to his relationship with his mom. Is her respectful and loving? Grab him and don't let go. Verbally abusive or even worse? Run for the hills! Of course, nothing is ever really that simple, but it is a jumping off point. Just my opinion -- my nice guy loved his mom so much and I'm reaping the benefits.

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  5. I don't know, I ended up with the nice guy but boy do I have moments that I still miss the bad boys. I know they were never any good but they were fun and there's just somethin about em. :)

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  6. i agree... my nice guy is anything but weak. but i also agree with wenafred... there is a type of look that a "bad boy" will give you that makes me blush in a very pleasant way. i wish my husband would do that!

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  7. Why are these lyrics going through my mind..."I may be a real bad boy, but baby I'm a real good man." ;)

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  8. OMG, I LOVE TIM MCGRAW. YOU ARE SO RIGHT ON WITH THAT ONE KENTUCKY. I MARRIED THE NICE GUY BUT HE DOES HAVE A TEMPER. I LIKE TO PUSH HIS BUTTONS JUST TO MAKE HIM MAD SO I CAN SEE THAT SIDE OF HIM. I FIND IT SEXY FOR SOME WEIRD REASON. CALL ME CRAZY!!!

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  9. My nice guy is anything but weak.. At 6"3, he's a muscle man, inside and out!!! And aren't I glad!!

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  10. We all went after the frat boy in college... but when we grew up we realized the guy that the nice, reliable guy is a more exciting long term prospect. However I agree with the comments above, my guy with nice and strong! :)

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  11. I dated very pretty, very bad boys for a LONG time! The kind that just being with them made you feel "bad". They could look at me and I would be ready to go! They always broke my heart. I now have a nice guy, I couldnt be happier. Instead of fighting we spend our time cuddling. He isnt weak, but oh my is he nice!!

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  12. Amen! I just read this article in Newsweek about the rise of the Beta male (the way they phrased it was "think Will Ferrell rather than Colin Ferrell.") The article was all about how nice men are taking over the world while the Alpha dogs (Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Donald Rumsfeld, etc.) self destruct.

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  13. So that's why most women behave like idiotic morons in relationships?

    I mean are the badboys to women, the same "Very hot womens" are to man?

    they are so physically attractive but in the end just lame?

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